So I'm currently sitting in my class, bored out of my mind... Literally, an AIDS hospice is more lively than the discussion in class right now.
So what does MJ do when he gets bored? Usually I'd go to bars, hoping there is an open bar I could take advantage of. But then again, I can't just leave this class - the rows are too narrow and I'm not about to awkwardly walk out - plus the sun isn't down, nor is it the weekend. This is where the internet goes from being a useful tool to a magical gold mine:
I'm at this site, ATDHE.net, which is essentially, a Watch-Every-Sport-And-TV-Show-Live website. I find that there is some obscure horse racing on, so what do I do? Yes, I did in fact find an online gambling site and bet on the races I was watching. But not just any bets, none of those retarded "place or show bets". No, instead I'm making up wild $10 bets that I have no idea how I made up. I'm triple boxing trifectas, double boxing exactas, parlaying quinellas to go towards a boxed perfecta, I'm even making stuff up about buying put options on bets--it was sweet, rediculous bedlam.
Within 25 minutes, I'm up $350, and decide to call it in so I don't end up like the losers in Vegas who leave Sin City having to sell their blood plasma and kidneys on the black market to pay off what they'd lost. Then, of course my teacher looks at me and asks me a question about how the radio has become something vital that we use today, but to relate my answer to the readings. Undaunted, I say, "Well, [Author] said you can see the internet as a two-way radio. For example, I was just on a betting site communicating with a bookie and within 25 minutes I turned a series of $10 bets into $350. He obviously communicated back the amount of my winnings. Thus, digital two-way radio."
The entire class erupts in laughter. I am a king of the classroom, basking in my glory -- Hey, I'm up a bunch of money and the class is eating this up, you'd love it too.
The look on my professor's face is priceless. She simply looks at me and says, "See me after class. I want to know how you did that. I love horse racing." The MJ Luck ceases to amaze.
Is this my life? Am I really here?
No comments:
Post a Comment