Groh Finally Departs

AFTER MUDDLING THROUGH MANY A CRAP SEASON, UVA HEAD FOOTBALL COACH, AL GROH, HAS FINALLY BEEN FIRED (CLICK HERE FOR FULL STORY).

THE TOP-5 PAID COACH IN THE COUNTRY HAS GAVE US A VERY LACKLUSTER PERFORMANCE AS SKIPPER OF THE VIRGINIA FOOTBALL PROGRAM. NOW ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS SEE WHO CRAIG LITTLEPAGE, UVA ATHLETIC DIRECTOR, CHOOSES TO REPLACE GROH.

A Letter to UPC

Dear Friends,

I feel swindled.

If you haven't already heard. There were only 450 tickets available for the Wale concert. Why is this? Because UPC thinks it's a smart (and not a money-losing) situation to bring GirlTalk to an empty JPJ and put Wale, who GQ magazine said is the next Jay-Z, in the Student Activities Building. How this is in anyway a good move, I could not tell you.

I wrote a letter to UPC & PKG Concerts yesterday and I'm awaiting their response. I would ideally like to post both the unabridged, unalterd version of my initial letter and then post the unabridged, unaltered response from them, if I get one. If this fails, I want to try and get the Cav Daily to post my letter.

-MJ

Comedy Spotlight

KEVIN HART (BORN JULY 3, 1980) IS AN AWSMAZING ACTOR AND COMEDIAN, ORIGINALLY FROM PHILLY. AFTER WINNING A FEW CONTESTS, HE QUIT HIS JOB AS A SHOE SALESMAN AND EMBARKED ON A CAREER IN COMEDY. HE GAINED FAME WHEN HE APPEARED IN SCARY MOVIE 3 AND SOUL PLANE AND MADE AN APPEARANCE IN THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN. KHART IS EASILY ONE OF THE FUNNIEST DUDES IN STAND UP RIGHT NOW. HE’S FILMED AND HBO SPECIAL ENTITLED I’M A GROWN LITTLE MAN. HE’S CURRENTLY TOURING THE NATION. IF HE COMES TO YOUR CITY, DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND GO SEE HIM… BUT ALSO DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND DON’T EAT TOO SOON BEFOREHAND BECAUSE YOU’LL THROW UP FROM LAUGHING SO HARD. WATCH THE CLIP I ADDED FROM THE HBO SPECIAL ABOVE. ENJOY!

ALSO, FOLLOW HIM ON TWITTER, HE'S KevinHart4real

Attention:Deficit VS Before I Self Destruct

VS


SO THE LONG-AWAITED DAY IS HERE... WALE, WITH HIS FRESHMAN ALBUM, ATTENTION:DEFICIT, BACKED BY KANYE'S G.O.O.D. MUSIC LABEL, FACES OFF AGAINST RAP JUGGERNAUT, 50 CENT, WHO ALSO RELEASED HIS ALBUM TODAY, ENTITLED BEFORE I SELF DESTRUCT.

SO WHO HAS THE BETTER ALBUM? I'LL GIVE A BREAKDOWN HERE:

AT A TIME WHEN ARTISTS (OR THEIR GHOSTWRITERS) ARE CUTTING THROUGH THE RIGMAROLE OF LONG-GESTATING PUBLICITY VIA TWITTER , WALE ANNOUNCED HIS NEW ALBUM TITLE VIA A PHOTO OF SHOES. THAT TYPE OF FRESHNESS PERVADED THE DC RAPPER’S TAKE ON AMERICAN INSTITUTIONS LIKE SEINFELD AND HIP-HOP’S ONE-UP CULTURE ON 2008’S THE MIXTAPE ABOUT NOTHING . HIS CLEVER SONIC HIJACKS GO GLOBAL WITH ATTENTION DEFICIT. WALE CLAIMS THE NEW ALBUM’S MONIKER IS IN REFERENCE TO A CRUMBLING MUSIC INDUSTRY THAT IS PRODUCING WHACK, DISPOSABLE TUNES: “NOBODY PAYS ATTENTION AND I’M TRYING TO CHANGE IT.” DESPITE THIS, FANS ARE DEFINITELY LENDING THEIR EARS TO THE ARTIST BORN AS OLUBOWALE VICTOR AKINTIMEHIN FOLARIN. DEFICIT FEATURES PRODUCTION FROM MARK RONSON, GLITCH MOB, AND DAVID SITEK. ASIDE FROM HIS POPULAR COLLABO-SINGLE CHILLIN' WITH LADY GAGA, 90210, TV IN THE RADIO, AND PRETTY GIRLS FEATURING GUCCI MANE, ARE FRESH TRACKS... MAYBE WALE'S GOT SOMETHING HERE WITH INCORPORATING DC-POPULAR GO-GO MUSIC.
RATING:

THE PRESSURE IS ON 50 CENT. AFTER LOSING A VERY PUBLIC SALES BATTLE WITH KANYE WEST, HE HAS PROMISED THAT BEFORE I SELF DESTRUCT, HIS FOURTH STUDIO ALBUM, WILL REVOLUTIONIZE HIP-HOP, IT WILL BE THE CULMINATING STATEMENT OF THE FIRST PHASE OF HIS MUSIC CAREER, AND THAT IT IS A COMPANION PIECE TO HIS FIRST FEATURE DIRECTING EFFORT. 50 CENT HAS DESCRIBED BEFORE I SELF DESTRUCT AS “DARKER AND MORE AGGRESSIVE,” WITH FEWER GUEST APPEARANCES AND A CONCEPT THAT WILL SET THE NEXT PHASE OF HIS MUSICAL CAREER. “GET UP,” THE FIRST SINGLE FROM THE ALBUM, WAS PRODUCED BY SCOTT STORCH. LET ME JUST SAY THAT A COUPLE MORE GUEST APPEARANCES WOULD HAVE HELPED THI ALBUM. 50 CENT IS MY MAN, WITHOUT A DOUBT. I HAVE MAD RESPECT FOR THE JAMAICA-QUEENS RAPPER, BUT IT SEEMS THAT HE CAN’T REACH THE PINNACLE OF HIS RAP CAREER THAT HE ACHIEVED WITH GET RICH OR DIE TRYIN’. MOST OF THE ALBUM HAS LESS-THAN-“REVOLUTIONARY” BEATS AND IT SEEMS LIKE I’VE HEARD THESE SOME OF THE LYRICS BEFORE ON A COUPLE TRACKS. HOWEVER, 50 MASTER’S THE HIGH-PITCH-SAMPLE WITH “DO YOU THINK ABOUT ME”. FIRE TRACKS ARE ALSO PROVIDED BY DR. DRE – “DEATH TO MY ENEMIES”, “OK. YOU’RE RIGHT”, AND A SICK COLLABO WITH EMINIEM (“PSYCHO”). OVERALL, THIS IS A PRETTY ALRIGHT ALBUM.
RATING:

FINAL DECISION: WALE WINS ONE FOR DC, MARYLAND, AND VIRGINIA... AND MUSIC IN GENERAL.

6 Games, 5 Rings, 4 Yankees... 27th Heaven

A deep and intimidating lineup (Melky Cabrera was the only regular with an OPS+ below league average), a deep and intimidating payroll, but a pitching staff that was neither deep nor intimidating. Still, we had a heck of a lineup, and CC Sabathia is a legit ace. Remember back on May 12 when we were 15-17 and 6½ games out of first place? You were mocking us at the time, weren't you? You know you were. So, if you hate the Yankees, it's probably your fault they won. We took that mocking and spit it right back in your face.

The 2009 World Series was most definitely a Fall Classic. From #13 taking control of the ALDS & ALCS with monster numbers to Johnny Damon stealing 2nd... and 3rd in Game 4, this was one of the greatest postseasons in MLB history. A-Rod ended all questions and silenced the second-guessers when he performed like the $275 Million dollar athlete he is. His legend is complete, he can only add to his numbers now. Johnny Damon, though aging, showed glimpses of his younger days with clutch hitting and base running for the Yankees. And Matsui? What do you say about Godzilla? With only 13 at-bats in the WS, he batted .615. No, not a typo, he was batting .615. You know who the only other player in MLB history to have batted over .600? The Babe. Mark Teixeira also performed with some outstanding offense.

Most importantly, the core of the Bronx Bombers, the captains of the team, were playing like it was 1998 all over again. Derek Jeter, hands down the best SS in baseball and one of the greatest of all time, averaged over .400. Posada, the Yankee veteran catcher who was backing up his then-teammate/now-coach in 1996 was great hitting both ways. Andy Pettite, on 3 days rest, made it deep into the game, humiliating his Phillies counterpart Pedro Martinez who played like a piece of scrap metal. And when the bullpen opened in the 8th and chants of "ENTER SANDMAN" started, I got chills. There's no better feeling than to have the greatest closer of all time finishing up the game for you. With a full count and 2 outs, Mariano Rivera threw a fastball to Shane Victorino who hit a ground ball to the second baseman Cano who flipped it to Teixeira for the final out. This core of four Yankee stars, after the Game 6 win last night, have earned 5 rings together as teammates.

i've waited - impatiently - since the last WS win in the 2000 Subway Series against the crosstown rival Mets to see us crowned World Champions. There's a reason ex-Yankee player Joe Girardi chose the number 27 for his uniform, and in his second season as the Yankee skipper, he helped The Boss earn the Yanks' 27th World Championship.

Hey Pedro, The Pinstripes are your daddy... And you got SPANKED!

Weezy F Baby, Please Say the Baby

SO THOUGH LIL WAYNE IS GOING TO JAIL FOR ATTEMPTED POSSESSION OF ILLEGAL FIREARMS, HE STILL MANAGES TO HOOK US UP WITH A NEW MIXTAPE, NO CEILINGS. JAY-Z KEPT HIS PROMISE AND SENT HIS SONG, DOA, TO THE MIXTAPE WEEZY, AND OF COURSE, WAYNE KILLED IT.

YOU CAN DOWNLOAD THE MIXTAPE BY CLICKING HERE (DON'T WORRY, I ALREADY CHECKED AND DOWNLOADED IT, NO VIRUSES).

THE TRACK LISTING IS AS FOLLOWS:

01. Swag Surf
02. Ice Cream
03. DOA
04. Skit Gudda
05. Wasted
06. Watch My Shoes
07. Break Up (Feat. Short Dawg And Gudda Gudda)
08. Banned From TV
09. Throw It In The Bag
10. Thats All I Have (Feat. Tyga And Shanell)
11. Skit Shanell
12. Wayne On Me
13. Im Good (Feat. Lucci Lou)
14. Poke Her Face (Feat. Jae Millz)
15. Run This Town
16. I Got No Ceilings
17. Cool N Dre (Feat. Birdman)
18. Oh Lets Do It
19. Single
20. Sweet Dreams (Feat. Nicki Minaj)
21. Skit End

MJ Bets, Hilarity Ensues

So I'm currently sitting in my class, bored out of my mind... Literally, an AIDS hospice is more lively than the discussion in class right now.
So what does MJ do when he gets bored? Usually I'd go to bars, hoping there is an open bar I could take advantage of. But then again, I can't just leave this class - the rows are too narrow and I'm not about to awkwardly walk out - plus the sun isn't down, nor is it the weekend. This is where the internet goes from being a useful tool to a magical gold mine:

I'm at this site, ATDHE.net, which is essentially, a Watch-Every-Sport-And-TV-Show-Live website. I find that there is some obscure horse racing on, so what do I do? Yes, I did in fact find an online gambling site and bet on the races I was watching. But not just any bets, none of those retarded "place or show bets". No, instead I'm making up wild $10 bets that I have no idea how I made up. I'm triple boxing trifectas, double boxing exactas, parlaying quinellas to go towards a boxed perfecta, I'm even making stuff up about buying put options on bets--it was sweet, rediculous bedlam.

Within 25 minutes, I'm up $350, and decide to call it in so I don't end up like the losers in Vegas who leave Sin City having to sell their blood plasma and kidneys on the black market to pay off what they'd lost. Then, of course my teacher looks at me and asks me a question about how the radio has become something vital that we use today, but to relate my answer to the readings. Undaunted, I say, "Well, [Author] said you can see the internet as a two-way radio. For example, I was just on a betting site communicating with a bookie and within 25 minutes I turned a series of $10 bets into $350. He obviously communicated back the amount of my winnings. Thus, digital two-way radio."

The entire class erupts in laughter. I am a king of the classroom, basking in my glory -- Hey, I'm up a bunch of money and the class is eating this up, you'd love it too.

The look on my professor's face is priceless. She simply looks at me and says, "See me after class. I want to know how you did that. I love horse racing." The MJ Luck ceases to amaze.


Is this my life? Am I really here?