Let Me Be Heard This One Time And I Swear To God, You Will Be Stronger Than Ever Before... Like Lance Armstrong, But With Two Balls

LET ME START OFF BY SAYING THAT IF YOU DON'T LIKE entourage YOU ARE A BRO HATER. IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED IT YET, DO YOUR LIFE A FAVOR AND GO TO BESTBUY AND BUY ALL 5 SEASONS, GRAB YOUR 3 OR 4 BEST FRIENDS, AND DON'T STOP TIL YOU WATCH ALL THE EPISODES, MEMORIZE ALL THE QUOTES, AND ASSIGN EACH FRIEND A CHARACTER (I'M SUPER AGENT ARI GOLD AMONGST MY FRIENDS)

BASIC RUNDOWN OF THE CHARACTERS:

ARI - PROBABLY THE MOST AWSMAZING/BALLER SUPER AGENT IN HOLLYWOOD WHO HAS HUNDREDS OF CLIENTS, INCLUDING VINNY CHASE, AND HAS ABOUT 2-3 AMAZING QUOTES AN EPISODE. ARI IS MARRIED TO "WIFE #1", MRS. ARI.

VINNY CHASE - HOLLYWOOD SUPERSTAR VINCENT CHASE BLEW UP IN THE MOVIEHEAD ON AND IS LOOKING TO CONTINUE HIS PATH TO SUCCESS. HE LIVES WITH HIS BROTHER, JOHNNY "DRAMA" CHASE, AND TWO BEST FRIENDS, ERIC MURPHY (E), & TURTLE. BANGS AT LEAST 1 HOT GIRL PER EPISODE. AFTER HIS HITS HEAD ON &QUEEN'S BOULEVARD, VINNY FUNDS THE MAKING OF MEDELLION, TODAY'S SCARFACE. THE MOVIE IS A BOX OFFICE BUST AND THE NEW SEASON FOCUSES ON HIS QUEST TO REGAIN HIS ONCE-HYPED FAME & SUCCESS.

E - "NEUROTIC LITTLE FUCK" ACCORDING TO ARI. E IS VINNY'S MANAGER AND HELPS VINCE CHOOSE HIS NEXT CAREER MOVES. E IS PROBABLY THE MOST AWKWARD/QUICK-TO-ATTACH-HIMSELF-TO-A-GIRL PERSON IN L.A. HOWEVER, SOMEHOW HE CONTINUES TO GET REALLY HOT GIRLS LIKE SLOAN (PLAYED BYEMMANUELLE CHRIQUI) WHO AFTER BREAKING UP WITH HER, IS DESPARATELY TRYING TO GET HER BACK. (FOR THE RECORD, E IS MY BROTHER OMAR. FRIEND OMAR ON FACEBOOK!)

DRAMA - THE WORKING ACTOR'S WORKING ACTOR, DRAMA IS PROBABLY THE BIGGEST BRO ON THE PLANET. HE SAYS FUNNY SHIT ALL THE TIME ("NO NO NO! MEAN IS WHEN I ASS-FUCKED JESS MANCINI IN HIGH SCHOOL AND MADE HER RIDE HER BIKE HOME AFTER."). ALSO, DRAMA HAS HAD EVERY JOB KNOWN TO MAN. HE'S CAMEO-ED IN A HUNDRED MOVIES (MAINLY TV MOVIES-OF-THE-WEEK), HAS HAD GUEST SPOTS ON TONS OF TV SHOWS, AND IS ALWAYS LOOKING TO TRY TO RIDE HIS BROTHER'S COATTAILS TO THE BIG TIME. ONCE A STAR ON MELROSE PLACE, PACIFIC BLUE, & ON THE SCI-FI CHANNEL IN VIKING QUEST (TAG LINE: "VICTORY!"), HE FINALLY CAUGHT A BREAK IN SEASON 5 AND IS NOW THE LEAD ROLE IN THE NBC HIT SERIES FIVE TOWNS. DRAMA ALSO IS A BADASS GOLFER, DATING ADVISOR (LOL), & COOK; HE MAKES BREAKFAST FOR THE BOYS EVERY MORNING.

TURTLE - IF YOU ARE FAT, NEVER GET ANY ASS, AND SMOKE TONS OF WEED, CHANCES ARE YOU'RE TURTLE. REAL NAME SAL, THIS GUY IS THE LOVABLE DRIVER AND ASSISTANT TO VINNY CHASE. HE IS FRIENDS WITH TONS OF CELEBRITIES, KNOWS WHERE TO GET THE BEST WEED IN CALI, AND IS A TRUELY LOYAL FRIEND. HE BUSTS DRAMA'S BALLS FOR MOST OF EACH EPISODE - AND WHY NOT? THE GUY IS DATING JAMIE-LYNN SIEGLER BOTH ON THE SHOW AND IN REAL LIFE. TURTLE ALSO HAS THE MOST OUTRAGEOUS SHOE COLLECTION ON THE PLANET, INCLUDING A ONE-OF-A-KIND PAIR OF NIKE AIR FORCE ONES MADE ESPECIALLY FOR HIM BY JAPANESE GRAFFITI ARTIST, FUKIJAMA.

LLOYD - AH YES, LLOYD. ARI'S GAYSIAN ASSISTANT. AFTER 15 ASSISTANTS IN 3 YEARS, ARI HAS FOUND HIS GO-TO MAN - ER, "MAN". PLAYED BY REX LEE, LLOYD IS THE LOVABLE ASSISTANT THAT GETS YELLED AT IN EVERY EPISODE, WITH EACH VERBAL LASHING FROM ARI GETTING FUNNIER AND FUNNIER. HOWEVER, LLOYD MEANS A LOT TO ARI AND EVERY FAN OF ENTOURAGE. IN SEASON 6, LLOYD GIVES ARI AN ULTIMATUM, EITHER GIVE HIM A CHANCE TO BE PROMOTED TO AN AGENT, OR HE WILL LEAVE ARI'S MILLER-GOLD AGENCY AND WORK FOR A DIFFERENT AGENCY.

ENTOURAGE IS HANDS DOWN THE GREATEST SHOW EVER CREATED. YOU CAN CATCH NEW EPISODES ON SUNDAY NIGHTS @ 10:30 PM ON HBO.

ALSO, TO FIGURE OUT WHICH CHARACTERS YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE, YOU CAN TAKE THIS SHORT QUIZ AND FIND OUT.